Kingdom Hearts: -FINAL DISTANCE-
by LovelessNobodyXIII
Summary: In the wake of the Osaka School Massacre, a socially challenged Sora struggles to cope with the loss of his only friends. With the support of family, strangers, and those grieving alongside him, he fights to stay afloat in his ocean of emotion as the demons of his isolation try to pull him down into a darkness he might never escape from.
1. Chapter 1: Lost at Sea

Kingdom Hearts: -FINAL DISTANCE-

Written by Christopher Rangel

"I've been having these weird thoughts lately.

Like, is any of this for real, or not?"

-Sora, _Kingdom Hearts_

Chapter 1: Lost at Sea

* * *

July 2001. Summer in Japan. One month after the Osaka school massacre.

"Come in! The water's fine!"

"It's cold!"

A young brown haired boy in red swim trunks shuffles across sun burnt sands with a heavy, yellow bucket in his hands. He wanders amongst and between other beach goers, many twice his height.

"There's a feeling in the air. I don't like it."

He finds a suitable spot within view of his mother and places the bucket, upside down, on the dry sand. He hits the bucket a couple times, then slowly and carefully lifts the bucket.

Finally he raises the bucket to the sky, and there it is before him. His castle. He begins shaping it to his liking; he smoothed over the walls, formed the battlements, and then, as he began carving the doorway, the whole thing collapsed.

"Oh, come on!"

"AH! Stop splashing me!"

He stared at the ruin and started to cry. A hand on his shoulder.

"What's the matter?"

"My castle…"

"Oh." His mother looks at the pile of crumbled sand.

"How many did he kill?"

"Well, you can always build another one. Try again, and maybe this time it'll be perfect." The boy looked to his mother's sympathetic face and nodded, wiping the tears away.

"What's wrong?"

"There's definitely a storm coming. Can you feel it?"

"Okay," the boy said. His mother kissed his head, then returned to her towel and picked up where she had left off in the newspaper.

"No. But I think I heard on the news."

"Eight."

"I'll do it again!"

The boy swallowed back the pain, then looked back at his ruined kingdom. He patted down the rubble, flattening the old castle into a firm foundation, picked up the bucket and returned to the ocean, determination in his eyes. Once more he walked to the water, filled his bucket with sand, and built his new castle where the old once stood. He smoothed the walls, made the battlements, and carved the doorway with more care this time.

He found a smooth, white, near oval shaped stone nearby, and put it in front of the small cavern to act as a door.

"What kind of world do we live in?"

From the outside it was perfect, but when he opened the door and looked inside, there were no rooms, no servants, no knights, no throne. All he saw was darkness. He frowned, closing the door. He looked back to the sea, the waves crashing softly over the sand. _This island is so small…_ Above, the sky was clear, but beyond, over the horizon, clouds were approaching. A storm was on the way, just like on that day.

The boy stood up and walked to the water's edge, staring out over the blue expanse. Something was sailing in the distance. A boat? The raft? Tears filled his eyes once more, and he reached out a hand to the speck that inched across the horizon. He brought his hand back, looking away with a painful sob. Then he looked again, screaming "Riku! Kairi!" His mother looked up from her newspaper and saw him running into the sea, screaming their names.

"Sora!" she yelled. "Sora, come back! Don't go too deep!" Sora couldn't hear her over his own cries. The water rose higher and higher, over his knees, over his waist. The higher it got, the slower he moved through it.

"What's wrong with that kid?"

"Riku! Kairi!" He called, splashing through the shallows. The ocean gave no response. He could feel the water pulling him forward as it was sucked into a wave that was forming up ahead, which came towards him, towered over him, and crashed into him, sending him spiraling into darkness. He opened his eyes and saw a hand reaching down from the water's surface. He reached up, trying to grab it, before his vision faded to nothing. Then, he heard her voice, distant and far away.

"Sora… Sora… Wake up, you lazy bum…" And he opened his eyes.

* * *

2 Weeks Later

* * *

The Sun shone through the window behind Takotsubo Sato, providing much more light than the dim electrical one buzzing on his ceiling. He looked at the clock and released a tired sigh. His break was over, and his next client was due any minute.

"Sora Hikari," he muttered, looking over his papers as he stroked his beard. A sixth grader from the Ikeda Elementary School, where the Osaka School Massacre had taken place more than a month ago. Several of the survivors had become his clients in the time since, brought in by parents that couldn't imagine what their children were going through. That needed a professional after the trauma they endured. Mr. Sato had to be there, to be the one to guide them back into a semblance of their old lives.

There was a knock on the door. Mr. Sato adjusted the collar on his red button-up shirt and said "Come in!"

The door opened, and his secretary ushered the brown haired boy into his office. He walked in slowly, timidly, with his mother behind him.

"Sora," Mr. Sato gestured to the seats across the desk from him. "Please, have a seat. You're free to join too, Ms. Hikari."

"Yes, of course," the mother said with a bow. She took her son's hand and walked him across the room. Once Sora took his seat, Mr. Sato smiled at him.

"Hello, Sora," he said. "My name is Mr. Sato." The boy remained silent. "No need to be nervous. My purpose here is to be someone you can talk to. A new friend, who you can share your feelings with."

Sora said nothing, but instead stared at a nondescript corner of the room.

"He doesn't believe they're… gone," his mother said for him. "His friends. He insists that they're just… lost somewhere at sea."

"Hm, I see…" said Mr. Sato, writing some notes with a sad smile.

"He's in denial," said Ms. Hikari. "And he's having trouble moving on. Just two weeks ago he almost drowned himself, running out into the ocean shouting their names! They're the ones that were… lost at sea."

"They're out there…" Sora said.

"Sora…" Mr. Sato cut Ms. Hikari off with a raised hand, then smiled at the boy.

"You can speak!" said the aging, blonde haired counselor. "That's good, Sora. Now, why are you so certain that they're out there?"

"I saw them," Sora said. His mother looked away.

"What do you remember?"

Sora said nothing. His attention had returned to the corner of the room. His mother looked at him, then back to the man she had hired to talk to her son.

"When he was drowning," said Ms. Hikari. "That's when he says he saw them."

"Thank you, Ms. Hikari, but I would rather it be your son who does the talking." He turned to Sora. "Is that true, Sora?" The boy nodded, but didn't say anything. "Were they trying to help you back up, or drowning alongside you? Or, were they somewhere else?" When Sora didn't say anything, his mother inhaled to speak, then stopped herself, remembering Mr. Sato's request. The counselor wrote down some notes, then looked at the boy with a smile.

"Don't feel under pressure to speak, Sora. I can tell a lot from your silence, as well as the moments themselves wherein you decide to speak. Silence says as much as any answer, and if silence is the answer you want to give, I'm happy to listen to it." He listened to the silence. "Well, enough of these grim subjects," he said. "Do you like ice cream?" Sora looked at the counselor and nodded. "I thought you might." Mr. Sato smiled, lifted a finger for him to wait a moment, then ducked his head beneath his desk. There was the sound of a drawer opening. "Ms. Hikari, would you care for one?"

"Sure," she said. The drawer closed, and he came back up with three ice cream bars. He handed one to Sora, one to his mother, and kept the last for himself. He unwrapped his and took a large bite. Sora opened the wrapper and looked at the blue bar of ice cream for a moment.

"What flavor?"

"Sea-salt," Mr. Sato said.

"Sea-salt?"

"My favorite! It is salty, but it's sweet, too. Try it!"

"Salty… but sweet." Sora took a bite, then stared blankly at the ice cream. He took another bite.

"Do you like it?" asked Mr. Sato. Sora nodded. The counselor smiled. "Tell me, Sora. What do you do for fun? Any hobbies?" Sora shrugged. "I see you're wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt. Do you like Disney movies?" Sora nodded. "That's good. Which one is your favorite?"

Sora shrugged, taking another bite of his ice cream.

"So you don't want to answer, or you're having trouble picking one?"

"Picking one," said Sora.

"I would, too," said Mr. Sato. "There are many good ones." He thought for a moment. "_The Lion King_ is my own favorite, I think. Have you seen that one?" Sora nodded. "The story of a lion who loses everything, then, with the help of some new friends, finds his strength, gets everything he had back, and takes his father's place as king. You know, Sora, you remind me of Simba, a little." Sora just looked at that corner, almost seeming to smile a little. One bit of ice cream remained towards the halfway point of the stick. It fell off, onto the floor.

"Sora!" said his mother.

"It's no bother," Mr. Sato said with a laugh. Sora picked it up, then walked to the garbage and disposed of it and the barren ice cream stick. Then he sat back down and continued staring at the corner. They sat like that for a few moments, Sora looking at the corner and the counselor looking at him.

"Well, I believe we're about done for today," said Mr. Sato, breaking the silence. "Is there anything else you would like to talk about?" Sora shook his head, then looked to his mother. "Very well. If you wish to continue, I'll see you again next week."

"We'll be here," said Ms. Hikari. She stood up and held out a hand to her son. He took it, and followed her to the door.

"Take care, Sora," said Mr. Sato. Sora looked back with an empty stare, cut off by the closing door. As their footsteps receded, Mr. Sato put his elbows on the desk, and bent forward a little to rub the back of his neck with both hands. He sat back up, sniffed a little, and wiped a tear from his eye. There was a knock on the door. "Come in!"

"He wants to help you, Sora," Ms. Hikari said, opening the door of her car. Sora sat in the back passenger's seat and stared out the window. "If you don't let other people help you… If you don't open your heart to others, the darkness you feel there will just fester, just get worse." She looked in the rear view mirror. "Do you understand what I'm saying, Sora?" He said nothing, but kept staring out the window. Painful sorrow scrunched Ms. Hikari's face for a moment. She looked forward, started the car, and began the drive home.

_I watched the world through a window on that day, too_, Sora thought.

He sat on his bed, looking through the window at the storm outside. Little could be seen through the wall of rain that bombarded the streets outside and hammered on the ceiling above. Blurred outlines of trees bending in the wind were visible in the distance, but the bay beyond was lost completely.

"This island is so small," Riku had said days ago. "I wonder what lies beyond it."

"Heading southward, mainly smaller islands," Kairi said. "And then, eventually, Australia."

"Australia," Riku said. He smiled. "We need to make a raft that can make it that far. You up for it, Sora?"

_We built the raft together,_ he thought. _I should have been with them._

"This morning, two Ikeda Elementary School students have been reported missing," the newsman said the next day. "Reports claim they were last seen at Nishiki beach, pushing a raft into the bay in the middle of last night's storm. They are believed to have been lost at sea. Search boats are patrolling the bay. So far, no bodies have been found. This coming shortly on the heels of what is being referred to as the 'Osaka School Massacre,' one hopes for an end to the tragedies this school has been conf…" Sora turned off the TV.

"Sora?" his mother said, looking at him. He stood there, staring into the black TV screen. In the darkness, all he saw was his own reflection. There were tears on it's face.

_Lost at sea. Only lost at sea_. No bodies were ever found. His hope was a fragile, burning flame, threatened by the things others were saying, the people his mother was taking him to see. _To take the light and snuff it out._

Sora closed his eyes. _Riku. Kairi. _He exhaled. _Wait for me. I'll be there with you soon…_


	2. Chapter 2: Black Hole Memories

"Ki ni naru noni kikenai / Oyogitsukarete kimi made mukuchi ni naru!" Rena sang to the neighborhood as she and a group of her classmates walked to school that morning. Kairi walked beside her, trying her best to sing along despite not knowing the words to the song quite as well. More children tagged onto the group as they carried on, yet the sound of conversation never drowned out the sound of Rena's song.

Taking up the rear of the group, Sora trudged along after them as Riku encouraged him to keep up, his black hair shining white in the sunlight.

"She's so loud," said Sora.

"She's happy," said Riku. "Come on, why do you always drag behind everyone like this?"

"It's crowded up there," said Sora. "Everyone's too close together. I like it better back here, where I can keep my personal space."

"Personal space, huh?" said Riku. "How's this for personal space?" He pushed against him with his shoulder.

"Hey!" said Sora, veering off the sidewalk and stumbling between a pair of trees into someone's recently mowed lawn. He regained his balance and returned to Riku's side, silent.

"Come on, man, you gotta learn not to be so nervous around people!" Sora made no response. "Are you angry with me?" Sora just kept walking forward. "Hey, man," said Riku, putting a hand on his shoulder. Sora shoved his hand away.

"Don't touch me."

"Alright, jeez," said Riku, keeping his hands to himself.

"I wanna be with you now / Futari de distance chijimete," Rena and Kairi sang.

"If you keep pushing people away," Riku began, "People will learn to keep their distance from you. And when there's no one close enough for you to push away, the loneliness will be all you have."

"You pushed me away first," said Sora.

"That's not what I meant," said Riku. They didn't say a word for a couple hundred feet. Sora stared at the earth like he was trying to see beneath it, while Riku looked up to the others ahead, and the sky above, where the Sun was slowly making its ascent.

"What are they singing?" Sora asked.

"It's from Utada's new album," said Riku. "If you ask Rena, she might let you borrow it. Might. Maybe long enough for your mom to rip it to your computer, at least."

"I'm not that interested," Sora said. He looked up from his feet to the bright red hair on the back of Kairi's head.

"Well, if you were interested," Riku began, "You might have something to talk with _her_ about."

Sora looked back to the ground. "Maybe."

"'Maybe'," Riku echoed. "Sora, you're hopeless as ever."

"I've got plenty of hope," said Sora. "Whether I act on that hope is another question. If I do, rejection could burn it all away. But if I never act on it, it will never die."

"If you never act on your hope," said Riku, "is it even really there?"

Sora didn't say anything. Riku sighed. "It's impossible for something that isn't there to disappear, Sora."

"So you agree with me, then," said Sora. "It won't be going anywhere." Riku just shook his head.

"Riku!" called a boy Sora didn't know, walking down a lawn and towards the group.

"Hey, Aku!" Riku's red headed friend walked towards them, raising a hand in greeting. He fell in next to Riku, then looked at Sora.

"I don't believe we've met," he said.

"I'm Sora."

"Name's Akuseru," he said. "Call me Aku for short. Got it memorized?"

"Yeah, he's got it memorized," said Riku. "Hey, are you almost finished with my _Evangelion_ DVD?"

"Oh, right. Just got a couple more episodes to go, man."

"How long have you had it?"

"A month?"

"Alright. Just be sure it gets back to me when you're done," said Riku. "Got _that_ memorized?"

"Sheesh, you're acting like I never return the things I borrow…"

Riku and Aku continued their conversation, while Sora walked alongside them in silence the rest of the way to school.

* * *

Chapter 2: Black Hole Memories

* * *

A finger pressed a button by the door, releasing the ring of the bell through the halls of the house. Kado Kichirou took a step back and adjusted his collar, pretending not to have noticed the face that had peered down from the upstairs window. When it disappeared, he turned his blonde haired head upwards, watching her shadow fret over her hair, her makeup, the neatness of her blouse in the mirror. The shadow disappeared, then reappeared to touch things up a little more. Kado smiled at the unnecessity of it as the shadow disappeared again, and the sound of footsteps descending the stairs within was heard outside. The door swung open.

"Juri," said Kado.

"Good morning, Kado," said Juri Hikari. They pecked a quick kiss in the doorway, then Juri motioned him inside. The air was heavy with the smell of coffee.

"Would you like some?" Juri asked, standing by the brewer.

"Yes, please," Kado said, rubbing an eye. Juri poured a cup, and Kado's ears keyed in to the sound of familiar music coming from the living room. He smiled as Juri handed him his cup.

"How's the little hero doing?"

"He's managing," said Juri. "He's really enjoying the game you gave him."

"I can hear that," said Kado. They stepped into the living room, the couch Sora sat on in front of them and the television he was playing on in front of that. Kado scruffed Sora's hair, startling him a little. Kado looked at the television. "You're fighting Reno now."

"Yeah," said Sora, keeping his eyes on the screen as Cloud landed an attack.

"I remember this part," Kado said, sipping his coffee.

Sora hesitated before saying "Are Wedge, Biggs, and Jesse really dead?"

"Who?" said Kado. "Oh, them. Yeah, they are."

"They were the good guys…"

"They were," Kado said. He and Juri sat in the loveseat adjacent the couch. She looked at him as he furrowed his brows, trying to find something to say next. He nodded with a smirk. "They were."

* * *

The walk to school was a lot quieter than it used to be. Rena's singing was absent, and the conversations with it.

Sora had seen him for a moment. _Heartless monster_. Tiny legs scrambled through the school when the words came through the speaker echoed through the hall tiny hands shoved tiny bodies reaching for survival for their own lives to be retained tiny lungs screamed to keep the monster away to release the fear and maybe survive blind panic blind violence indiscriminate death he ran with the rest out into the hall turning stumbling fighting to stand up as the others flowed around him no heart the screams grew louder behind him and Sora froze when he turned around and saw the person the thing run down another hallway bloody knife swinging down to repaint the white walls red once more it's safe here it's safe here it's safe here we're all safe here once more he had tripped over someone he had known when he had lived am I going to diewhat had happened to him the white tiles slowly turning red beneath him a shove against the wall what will happen to him the current pulling him away we're only children we're only children we're safe here once more Sora was shoved in his stillness as the current pushed into him inflicting pain bruised flesh Mom when he looked down at his shirt he saw smears of blood across it across his arms on his hands Mom a student stumbled clutching his chest falling bleeding bleeding bleeding why is this happening dyinghelp help us somebody help us those eyes we trusted you to keep us safe those emotionless eyes tied to emotionless hands stabbing stabbing stabbing was there even hate is there even love dizziness nausea it's all over it's all over Sora screamed Sora cried the existence of love proven through the revelation of death the fear of death proven through the proof of love the desire to live on exposed when death knocks on the door knocking knocking knocking bring me back to the place I smiled once someone calling to me

"Sora! Sora!" Riku had called, pulling at his arm. "Keep moving, Sora! SORA!"

"Sora!" Riku said, waving a hand in front of Sora's face. "Hey, Sora, you in there?"

"What?" Sora said.

"Good, you are," Riku said, a slight smile on his face. He turned forward again. Sora shrugged and kept walking. In the days since, Kairi had fallen back to walk with Sora and Riku. They walked in silence. Sora was lost, his memories flashing back to him as he looked at the trees. Kairi was lost, too, her eyes stuck in an empty daze, staring blankly ahead as they made their way to school. Riku tried his best to keep it together, but there were slight twitches that gave away the terror he still felt.

_Why am I the one to live?_ Sora pulled away from a memory again and decided he would try to say something. Something to Kairi. _But what?_ He thought.

"Didn't Utada release a new song recently?" Sora asked.

Kairi nodded. "I'm waiting to listen to it," she said. "I don't think I can listen to it alone. It was for her."

"Right," said Sora. They walked like that for a while. Riku was the one to break the silence.

"We should do something," he said. "To take our minds off of things."

"Like what?" Sora asked.

"I don't know," said Riku. "Maybe… the beach? July's almost over and I don't think any of us have been yet. You guys free this weekend?"

"Dad's taking my sister and me to the theater on Saturday," said Kairi. "Maybe Sunday."

"I never have anything on the weekend," said Sora.

"Looks like Sunday it is," said Riku.

* * *

"Sora, you'll be late," said Juri.

"I'm almost done," Sora said as Cloud landed the finishing blow on Reno. There was almost sweat on Sora's brow as the scene that followed unfolded, between the tension in the game and the tension that his mother might just turn off the console and do away with all the progress that had been made. Cloud, Tifa, and Barrett fled down a zipline as the Sector 7 plate collapsed around them, the crumbling debris tumbling down and crushing the slums below, erasing countless virtual lives.

"They're all dead," said Sora, staring wide eyed at the screen as Barrett punched the burning wall of rubble that had been the Sector 7 plate. "Did I fail? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, that's supposed to happen," said Kado.

"What do you mean, 'That's supposed to happen'?"

"Well, it's part of the story," said Kado.

"They died to tell a story?"

"It was… necessary," said Kado. "Don't you hate the bad guys now?"

"I hate this story!" Sora said. He slammed down the controller and ran to his bedroom.

Juri gave Kado a look, then got up and walked to the PlayStation, her finger approaching the power button.

"Wait," said Kado. He stood and picked up the controller.

"Really?" said Juri. "You're going to play now?"

"You can't just turn off a game without saving," said Kado, saving the game. "Besides. Do you really want him to go through that part again?"

"I don't think he should be playing it at all at this point."

"I disagree," said Kado. "This is the perfect time for him to be playing it." He put the controller down. "You're alright to turn it off now." Juri raised her eyebrows at him, then proceeded to hit the power button.

"Why don't you go check on him?" Juri asked.

"Well… I'm not his mother," said Kado.

"You're not," said Juri, "But it's not his mother who gave him that game."

"Alright."

"And make it quick. I don't want him to be late for school, and I don't want _us_ to be late for work."

"Alright, alright," said Kado. He walked to Sora's room and knocked on the door.

"What?"

"Can I come in?" There was no response. Kado slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Sora was sitting on his bed, staring at the floor.

"You'd better be getting ready for school," Kado said, smirking. "If you're late, your mother's going to kill me."

"I'm getting ready," Sora said, doing nothing. Kado grunted, then walked over to the window, looking out at the foggy morning that was waiting for all of them.

"We all lose people," Kado began, "Over the course of our lives. The important thing is that we keep living. For ourselves, and for the people left behind. That we keep moving forward, keep fighting for our lives to be what we want them to be, keep fighting for the things we think are right. That's what _Final Fantasy VII_ is about: loss, and how to push through it. I hope you keep playing it, Sora. I think it will help you through all of this." He looked back at the boy, who nodded in response. "And remember, you're not alone. You're not the only one going through this. Your mother… well, I'll let her tell about it when she's ready. Speaking of ready…" he turned away from the window. "Make sure you get yourself ready! Your group should be passing by soon."

"Alright," Sora said, reaching over to his pair of socks and beginning to put them on. Kado smiled and left the room.

"He's almost ready," Kado told Juri.

"Good," she said. "Because we're almost late." She turned towards Sora's room. "We're going, Sora! Love you!" With that, she and Kado walked to her car. She started the engine, and Sora watched through his window as they drove off. He finished putting his socks on and left his room. He put his shoes on at the door, then stepped outside.

It was warm, despite the fog. And dry, despite the puddles still sprinkling the ground. He looked to his left, where a dark procession emerged from the gloom, expressionless, slouching from the weight on their backs and in their hearts. They were silent, and in the low visibility almost seemed transparent. Moving shadows with hints of faces, carrying on through obscurity and pain.

Sora fell into file with them. There was nothing to say, and no one for him to say it to. They all disappeared in the fog, like specters vanishing into thin air. No names. No words. No desire to feel. What remained?


	3. Chapter 3: My Shadow

Swirls of black spiraled from the golden tip, traversing the sheet of white like a dark tempest. Moving in circles, treading the same ground, the darkness becoming more and more solid. Two points were left unfilled, eyes staring out from the abyss. Inverse lightning struck from two spots at the top, and another mass of darkness pooled beneath the original. Four cracks of darkness extended from that, like arms and legs, breaking the pure white world around it.

"What are you drawing?" someone asked from over Sora's shoulder.

"A shadow," Sora said, turning the page in his notebook.

* * *

Chapter 3: "My Shadow"

* * *

"On the Destiny Islands lived three friends: Sora, Riku, and Kairi," Mr. Sato read out loud. He looked up from the notebook to the baggy eyed boy on the other side of the desk. "Do you mind if I read out loud?" Sora shook his head, and Mr. Sato continued on. Sora stared blankly at the empty coffee cup on Mr. Sato's desk, the only movements on his face being an occasional blink or sniff, as Mr. Sato read about the adventures the three friends had on the Destiny Islands.

"'You do not yet know what lies beyond the door,' said the mysterious figure in the brown cloak.

"'So, you're from another world!' Sora responded.

"'There is so very much to learn. You understand so little.'

"'Oh, yeah? Well, you'll see. I'm gonna get out there and learn what's out there!', Sora said, fist clenched with determination.

"'A meaningless effort,' said the cloaked man. 'One who knows nothing can understand nothing.'" Mr. Sato stopped reading, looking up at Sora once more with a smile on his face. "The end?" Sora shook his head. "Ah, to be continued. What prompted you to start writing this?"

"School," said Sora. Mr. Sato nodded, sliding the story back to Sora.

"The Sora in this story seems a little different than the Sora I know," said Mr. Sato.

"He does?" Sora said.

"Yes. He seems more easygoing, and he doesn't let stress get the best of him. He seems to find it easier to be around people." Mr. Sato stopped a moment. "Is this how you were before?"

Sora shook his head.

"Then maybe this is the Sora you want to become." Sora made no response, vocal or physical. "Would you mind telling me what happens next?"

Sora shrugged. "A storm hits the islands. Kairi disappears, Riku is swallowed by darkness. The world is destroyed, and I go on an adventure with my new friends Donald and Goofy across a bunch of different worlds to find Riku and Kairi again."

"Ah, I was wondering what they were doing there," said Mr. Sato. "Writing is an excellent way to push past grief, Sora. I hope you keep this up." He looked up, thoughtfully. "The stars in the sky being other worlds, lit by the hearts of children. For someone so quiet, there's certainly a lot going on in that head of yours." Sora's eyes shifted to the side of the desk. "Is this what you want to do, Sora? Do you want to write?" Sora shrugged. Mr. Sato looked away for a moment. "I see… Oh, before you go…" He reached under his desk and pulled out a couple of ice creams, handing one to Sora. They both unwrapped their ice creams and took a bite, then Mr. Sato walked Sora to the door.

Mr. Sato opened the door and stepped into his living room. He flipped the light switch to illuminate the darkness. A number of model ships were arranged on the table between the couch and the television. He walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water from a pitcher in his fridge, then sat on the couch. He had a sip, then placed his glass on a coaster. He grabbed the piece of rope he kept on the table and started practicing his knots. Right over left, left over right. The square. Once around the table leg, twice around itself. Two half hitch.

Mr. Sato's wall was decorated with photographs, most with a younger version of himself and a thin, dark haired woman. His wife. Estranged. Some pictures had a sailboat, the tall mast scraping the sky as he stood beneath it, arms crossed and proud.

Mr. Sato didn't notice as his hands tied and untied a noose, and his practice carried on until the phone rang. He set the rope aside, now tied into a bowline, and walked to the phone.

"Takotsubo Sato speaking… Hello, Aiko… No, I don't think I'll be coming back. I've got my own practice now, and these people need me. I can't just leave them… I know… Tell that reporter I'm not interested… If all of you had just listened to me. I knew it wasn't time for him to leave… No, I only blame you as much as I blame myself… No, I can't forgive them… There are children suffering. Families suffering. And I… I understand. Take care. It's up to us." He hung up the phone, standing there for a second to recollect his breath. "It's up to me." He returned to the couch and picked up the remote. But he didn't want to know whatever was on the television. He put the remote down and closed his eyes, diving straight into the negative emotion that was welling inside of him.

_It was our fault._

_ I could have done something if I had tried harder._

His eyes squinted a little harder, wavering a little with the threat of tears.

_This pain, this sadness._

_ I am in pain, I feel sadness._

_ And that's alright._

_ I'll be strong._

_ Not just for the children,_

_ But for myself as well._

_ Especially for myself._

_ I must be strong for myself first_

_ To be strong for the children._

_ The past can't be changed,_

_ But it can be learned from_

_ And help to shape the future._

He opened his eyes again, looking into the white light that was shining from the ceiling. He smiled, finished his glass of water, and retired to bed. When he turned off the light, his shadow disappeared. He fell asleep, listening to the sounds of the outside world. Gentle wind and passing cars.

"VRRRooOm," a car zipped past in a controlled sort of chaos. It came to a stop across the street from the house where Sora and his mother lived. A tall man stepped out of the car, face concealed by the black hood of his sweater. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and putting it in his mouth. He stood there, watching the house in silence as the full moon shone above him.

Juri opened the door and looked across the street. There was no car there. The light of the morning cast dim shadows across the neighborhood. She looked down at the "Welcome" mat and shivered as she saw a piece of paper poking out from beneath it. She bent over to pick it up, her slow movements dictated by caution and suspicion, unsure of the intent of the content within. She unfolded the paper.

"How's the kid?" was all that was written. She let out the breath she realized she'd been holding, looked in both directions, pulled out a pen, and wrote "Fine," on it. She started bending over to return the note, then stopped to consider the wording. She looked at the note, then wrote to change the message to "He's Fine," then put the note back under the mat.

Juri grunted. Kado was late. She went down the steps and stood by her car, crossing her arms. _I'll give him a couple more minutes_, she thought. She stood there, looking down the road, waiting for him to show up. Then she turned back to the car, unlocked it, opened the door, and put one foot in.

"Juri!" she heard Kado call to her. She ducked her head below the ceiling and sat in the car, turning to see Kado coming towards her, hand raised in greeting, legs devouring the pavement in large steps.

"Train's leaving!" she called to him, closing the door and starting the car.

"Juri!" Kado called back. "Hold on!" He broke into a jog as Juri started backing out of the driveway. He went around the front, opened the passenger side door as Juri had stopped, and threw himself in, straightening his shirt and putting on his seatbelt. "Hi," he said, gasping for air.

"Hi," said Juri, setting her car to forward, pulling right, and driving down the road. "Long night?"

"Yeah," Kado puffed.

"How much did you lose?"

"Ha, lose? I…" Kado hid his enthusiasm away and turned to face her. His thin, blonde eyebrows were low and calculating. "What are you trying to say?"

"Don't try to cover it up, you clearly wanted to brag about it," said Juri, keeping her eyes on the road. "We've talked about this before, Kado."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Kado. "Are you…" he laughed, incredulous. "Are you trying to say I was out gambling last night?"

"And from the sounds of it, you came out pretty well."

"Ha!" Kado said, facing forward. "I can't believe this."

"Save it, Kado," Juri said, stopping at the stop sign, only now turning to face him. "Gambling or not, your oversleeping has me running late."

"Sorry," Kado said, dropping his façade. Juri started driving again, moving past the stop sign. "I didn't get to see Sora this morning. How is he?"

"He's fine," said Juri. "He's started writing."

"Has he?" said Kado. He looked out the window, face relaxing as he watched the passing scenery.

"Dammit!" Juri said. Kado turned to face her, then saw the yellow stoplight ahead.

"Not gonna make it," he said.

"Zip it," Juri said, blasting right through the freshly changed red light.

"Green light," began Mr. Hiyasu, "that's the frequency of light which the eye is most sensitive to. It is theorized that this is because, as life evolved in the forests and jungles of prehistory, increased perception of the color green proved especially advantageous, as these lifeforms were living in a world of green. The more sensitive they were to it, the easier it was for them to take in their surroundings…"

The students around Sora scribbled their notes, trying to keep up, as Mr. Hiyasu, a thin man with shifting eyes and long, light brown hair, continued to lecture on the topic of light. Sora was hard at work in the margin of his notebook, swirling, scribbling, drawing, creating more shadows. They flocked together, as if wanting to meld.

"As one gets closer to a source of light," Mr. Hiyasu said, "One's shadow becomes larger and larger. But if nothing blocks the source of light, why, the light of the stars is powerful enough to reach our planet, cutting through the infinite darkness of space to be received by our open eyes."

Sora shaded in the space between the shadows, letting them melt into one, but left room at the core for the heart.


	4. Chapter 4: Dinner's Ready

_"Where am I?" I asked, looking around the quiet alleyway. "Oh, boy…" I turned to the yellow dog that woke me up and asked "Do you know where we are?" The dog lifted an ear, looking away as if someone had called him, and then ran from me. "Hey!" I chased after him, then shielded my eyes from the brightness of the streetlights. I was in the plaza of an unfamiliar town, beneath bright lights shining in the darkness of the night. The buildings were warm and welcoming, yet odd and alien. "This is totally weird," I said. "I'm in another world!"_

"Sora!" Juri called from downstairs.

Chapter 4: "Dinner's Ready!

Come on down!" Sora frowned, determined to write just a little more. "Sora?!"

"I'm coming!" Sora said, wrapping up his last sentence with an exclamation point. He sat where he was for a few moments. Dirty clothes were scattered across his floor, and his walls were decorated with posters from various Disney movies. He closed his notebook, traversed the comfortably cluttered room, and descended the staircase beyond the door.

There were two plates on the dining room table. No Kado tonight. Juri, eyes closed and taking deep breaths, had been waiting for Sora, but now that he was walking into the room, she was too distracted by her thoughts to notice.

Sora took his seat and started eating. Juri's eyes opened with a few blinks, returning her to reality. She looked back and forth between Sora and his plate several times, then looked to her own plate. She took a small bite of her fish, swallowing after a few savoring chews. Her gaze returned to Sora, quietly eating his meal, but no words were spoken.

* * *

"It might be my fault that we're running late," Kado said with a sigh, "but running that light didn't help either."

"Shut up," Juri said. Her hands were tight on the wheel, heart racing as she watched the police car in the rear-view mirror. The door swung open. Juri's grip eased a bit when an unfamiliar officer stepped out of the car, then tightened again when she remembered she'd just been pulled over. The officer, a tall, broad shouldered man wearing a pair of sunglasses, knocked on her window. Juri rolled down the window. "Good morning, officer."

"Morning," said the officer, tapping his clipboard with the pen he held in his other hand. "Ran a bit of a red light there, Miss. In a hurry?"

"Running late for work," said Juri. "This guy's fault." Kado gave a single, exaggeratedly friendly wave.

"He wasn't the one behind the wheel, Miss," said the officer.

"Oh, I know, but…"

"Can I see your license?"

Juri pulled out her wallet. "Yes, of course," she said, fumbling with it a little before getting a hold of her license and handing it to the officer.

"Juri Hikari…" He paused a moment. "Lieutenant Hikari's widow, if I'm not incorrect." said the police officer.

"Yes," Juri replied.

The officer scowled for a moment, then his expression eased a little and he wrote out the ticket, business as usual.

"Pay the ticket…" the officer began, handing it to her, "or appeal it. Your choice."

"Yes, of course, officer. Sorry to…"

"And off the record," the officer interrupted, "Drive a little safer. For his sake."

"Of… of course." said Juri. The officer returned to his car, shut the door behind him, and drove off, while Juri sat there, staring at her steering wheel.

"It's just a ticket, Juri," Kado said. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah," said Juri. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't seem completely fine."

"Well, it's not the ticket."

"Hmm?"

"Do you think Sora would be better off…," Juri began, "If I weren't his mother?"

"What?"

"If he had another mother… do you think he'd still be so withdrawn, so… locked away? Or if he had a father at all, do you think… do you think…"

"Juri, breathe," Kado said, putting his hand on hers. "Sora's going through a hard time right now. It doesn't matter who his mother is, or how many fathers he has. The people he needs are the people he has. This is the hand he's been given… we're the hand he's been given, and it's up to us to make sure he doesn't fold."

Juri took his advice, remembering to breathe. A small smirk grew as her eyes slowly blinked. "Is everything a card game to you, Kado?"

"Not at all," said Kado. "But life has one major thing in common with card games. Chance."

* * *

The plates were as empty as their bellies were full. They sat in silence for a few moments, minds wanting to go elsewhere but hearts keeping them anchored there. Then, without a word, Sora stood up and started walking back to his room.

"Wait," said Juri. Sora turned around, asking what she wanted with his eyes. "Um, how was school today?"

"It was good," said Sora.

"That's good," Juri said, a smile trembling across her face. "Did you do anything interesting?"

Sora thought for a moment before saying "No."

* * *

The notebook fell into a dark shadow, sealed inside with a zip. Sora picked up his backpack, slid his arms through the straps, and left the classroom. His mind was silent as he moved with the student body to the school's exit, through a clean, innocent looking hallway that tried to keep its lips sealed and its history hidden. The halls, which had no need nor means to speak, were silent, except for the footsteps of homebound students.

He looked at the security guard, standing by the doorway, and felt a quiet shiver deep within. The man was tall and imposing, his posture seeping strength. His presence would have been comforting if it weren't for the grim expression his face had been locked into, his eyes observing everything and everyone while barely ever moving.

Sora stepped through the door into the sunlight beyond. "Hey," said a voice he vaguely recognized. Sora stopped and looked at the red haired boy. "Uh, you're Riku's friend, right?"

"Yeah," said Sora.

"Uh, you remember my name?"

"No," said Sora.

"Akuseru," said Aku. "Get it memor… ah, anyways, what I want to say is…" He reached into his backpack and pulled out an Evangelion DVD case, "I never returned this to Riku. I finished watching it, and, I don't know. I'm not sure what to do with it now. I was wondering if, maybe you would want it?" Sora just looked at the trees for a few moments, the wind blowing their green leaves, as well as the few that were starting to change in preparation for autumn.

"You can return it when he comes back," said Sora.

"But he's n…" Aku stopped himself. "Well, just, maybe you'd like to watch it! It's a good show. It's got giant robots, girls, everything!"

Sora sighed and accepted the gift, then walked away without saying a word. Aku stood there, watching him go. The emptiness that emanated from the boy made him shiver. Aku turned and walked away. He had never heard footsteps sound so hollow.

* * *

Sora was momentarily paralyzed by the tears in his mother's eyes, but he turned back towards the stairs anyways.

"I can't do this," said Juri. Sora stopped and turned around. "Sora, I can't do this if you're not going to talk to me. I… Am I a good mother?" Sora said nothing, but his mouth opened slightly. "Have I been a good mother, Sora? Have I changed at all? I want to think I haven't always been like this, but… have I?" Sora didn't respond. _Of course he didn't respond_, she thought to herself, the voice in her head steadier than her trembling body. _You wouldn't know how to respond, if you were in his place. But have I? Have I always been like this? And has he? Is this the way things have always been? Have these recent days caused a distance between the two of us, or did they just make the distance more apparent? Have I ever been a good mother?_ Juri broke down into tears. Sora watched for a little while, then his eyes squinted and he looked at the floor…

* * *

Sora walked one foot then the other, on and on, step by step, until home was one more building away. He walked up the steps to his door, taking out the key from his pocket.

"Hey," came an older voice, a man's voice from behind him. The key fell to the ground. Sora's heart was pounding, and, out of his control, his lungs pumped several breaths of tobacco tinted air a second.

"Woah, easy there, kid," said the stranger. "I'm not going to hurt you." Sora turned around, now facing the tall, up-hooded, sweatshirt wearing man.

"Wh… what do you want," Sora said, visibly shaken.

"Shit," the man said, looking away. "I didn't mean to scare you. Ah, what should I say, what should I say…" the man scratched the back of his hood as Sora stood there, keeping one eye on him while the other looked for an escape route. "Look," the man's arm came down to rest in his pocket, "Just do me a favor: take care of your mother. She's been through a lot, kid. Your battle's just beginning, but she's been fighting hers for years, before you were even born. She can be difficult sometimes… and I understand that you're not the cheeriest kid out there, but still… If she needs you to try, try. Do you understand?"

Sora looked away, giving a slow nod. He looked back up at the man, asking "Who… are you?"

"Nobody," said the man, walking away with his hands in his pockets. "Nobody at all…" As he walked away, Sora could hear him softly singing in English, "There is a light and it never goes out / There is a light and it never goes out…"

* * *

Juri gasped in response to the tiny arms wrapped around her waist. Her opened eyes looked down to the top of her son's head, which was turned to the side so it was pressing ear first into her chest. For a few shocked moments, Juri was only barely breathing. A million thoughts ran through her mind as she tried to process her emotions. In the end, she hugged Sora back, resting her head on his, streaking his hair with quiet tears. Juri closed her eyes and smiled. No words were spoken. No words needed to be said.


End file.
